Apologies in advance for some of these jokes!
Two Irish blokes are standing on the edge of a cliff, one has a budgie on each shoulder. The other has a parrot on one shoulder. The first jumps off the cliff and halfway down the budgies fly off, he hits the ground with a thud and is barely alive as he rolls around groaning upon the rocks. The second man jumps off the cliff and half way down the parrot flies off, the man reaches into his jacket and pulls out a shotgun and shoots the parrot just before he lands upon the rocks.
As they both lie there in pain the first man comments “I don’t think much of this Budgie jumping” The other replies “I don’t think much of this free fall parrot shooting either”.
A variation of the first joke: Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.'
The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.
'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry.
The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box.
Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass.
At the Connor Pass , Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, 'Dis looks like a grand place.'
He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff. Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.
Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, 'Fook dat. Dis budgie jumping is too fook'n dangerous for me!'
A burglar has just made it into the house he's intending to ransack, and he's looking around for stuff to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up "I can see you, and so can Jesus!" Startled, the burglar looks around the room. No-one there at all, so he goes back to his business. "I can see you, and so can Jesus!" The burglar jumps again, and takes a longer look around the room. Over in the corner by the window, almost obscured by curtains, is a cage in which sits a budgie, who pipes up again "I can see you, and so can Jesus!" "So what", says the burglar, "You're only a budgie!" To which the budgie replies "Maybe, but Jesus is a Rottweiler!"
Q: Why does a Budgie sleep on one leg?
A: Because if he lifted that leg up too he'd fall over
Q: Who tells the best Budgie jokes?
Q: What do you get when you cross a Budgie with a Shark?
A: A bird that talks your ear off
Q: How does a girlie Budgie send a letter to her friend?
A: In a Hen-velope
Q: Where does a Budgie go when it loses it's tail?
A: A Re-tail store
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